what happens when you have a baby boy

Your son will eat an insanely large amount.  He will then precede to spit up almost everything he consumed.  Of course, he will wait at least an hour between eating and spitting up so you aren't expecting it.  When he does spit up it will be all over the both of you.  In the time you spend reaching over to grab a burp cloth, he will have smeared spit up in his eye, up his nose, and all over the rest of his face.  Awesome.  It's like the gross version of If You Give a Mouse a Cookie.  I would post a photo, cause Liam somehow managed to look cute even with spit up smeared all over his face, but that's kinda gross.
Maybe I can because a children's author and make this into the baby version of the story.