ahh, the joys of work

Working in retail near the holiday season is always "special".  The hours, the merchandise, and the customers all get weirder.  Last night I was stupid enough to agree to work from 9pm to 6am.  I seriously have not stayed up that long straight since college.  Even with Liam I can nap in the middle.  I dressed 16 mannequins in varying degrees of hoochy-mamma-ness.  In the last 31 hours I have slept for 3 of them.  Ouch.  Also, my store decided to go crazy decorating wise because last year the decorations were pitiful and this year they decided to make up for it by going off the deep end.  My store seriously set aside like a million hours of budget to decorate.  And what do our decorations look like you ask?  Yarn.  Lots and lots of hideous shades of neon yarn.  Apparently yarn bombing is super cool now so we have to wrap EVERYTHING in freaking yarn.  We seriously were given at least 50 balls of it for decorating purposes.  The other night I had a 5 hour shift in which I wrapped large numbers in yarn and made snowflakes and mountains of yarn on giant peg boards.  Seriously.  I would like to conclude this by showing off possibly the worst three items of children's apparel ever.

the colors are even brighter in person and the texture of the dress feels like a cross between a shower curtain and a raincoat

did someone say pinata?

I know it doesn't seem possible, but these are shorter and tighter in person.  They go up to size 14.  What parent would buy these for their daughter?

We do also have some super cute clothes that I might have to buy even though Liam's closet is already close to exploding.  But the ugly/ crazy ones are just more fun to show.  Please be nice to your retail cashiers this Black Friday.  One of them will unfortunately be me.

NO NO NO

I feel like a kid on the last day of summer vacation.  Why?  Because I start back at work tomorrow.  I am so sad.  I really just want to stay on maternity leave forever.  I don't want to quit, just stay on leave.  Then I could keep my store discount, which really, is why I got m job in the first place.  Plus, I got my schedule for next week which shows me working almost 20 hours.  This confuses me a bit because before my maternity leave I seriously worked like 3 hours a week.  Seriously guys?  I can't just slowly ease back into work?  Now I have to freak out about finding babysitters and bringing my breast pump to work for my long shifts (of which I already have 2 scheduled).  Aaargh!  I wish my store would let me bring Liam with me.  I could carry him around my store while I helped customers, and he could help me by modeling the cute clothes and hopefully not spitting up all over everything (he would totally fail at that).  Could someone just help me win the lottery so I could stay home with Liam every day and not go back?  Do you think the cops will be understanding that I want to see my baby as quickly as possible on my way home from work when they pull me over for speeding?  I think that's a justifiable reason to speed, don't you?  I'm going to be a basketcase tomorrow.

it's a good thing I work in the visuals department

While watching the guys sing at Gap on Glee this week, all I could think of was that there were several piles of sweaters shown that I desperately wanted to refold.  Some of the standards were so not up to par.

I'm not allowed on a ladder (see? It just sounds goofy)

So far during my pregnancy, work hasn't really changed.  Except that I'm not allowed to use a ladder.  This wouldn't be a big deal at most jobs probably, but my stockroom is space challenged, so we stack everything as high as we can.  Try telling someone that you would love to grab them a navy peacoat, but you can't because you're not allowed on a ladder.  Trust me, you will feel like an idiot every time, and I've had to tell everyone the ladder response often lately.

work fun

So I was dressing the mannequins at work today and one outfit in particular made me start laughing.  I wish I could find a picture to post of the whole thing, cause its so freaking cute.  It reminds me of something Tova and I (or maybe just me) would wear when we were younger.  So I suck at describing things sometimes, but just bear with me.  The sweater dress in the top layer, with the turtleneck underneath.  The pink tulle skirt goes under the dress with the silver tulle skirt under the pink skirt.  Each layer shows an inch or two lower than the last though.  Then navy leggings, and the pink shoes.  The skirt part massively poufs out and is so totally cute!  Like, I "might actually let my kid wear all the the pieces together even though that's a lot of laundry" cute.

whoa baby

This whole baby thing is getting crazy all of a sudden.  So, first of all, the idea of eating more than soup or a few bites of food sounds awful to me, so I've lost 10 pounds since conceiving.  This makes my 15 week baby bump that more noticeable.  This also makes all clothes evil.  My jeans are huge in the legs now, but are way too small around my waist, but maternity pants don't really fit that well either.  It's my genius decision then that I'm going to live in sweatpants (unless I actually get a work shift or two).  More baby madness includes my mom in general.  For anyone who has ever met her, she is SO excited to be Grammy!!  She bought the baby its first book yesterday (Brown Bear, Brown Bear) because she wanted to get the first new book (I still have a ton from when I was little too).  She also knows that while I will love it to death no matter what it is, it would be great to have a girl.  So mom has taken to picture messaging me random photos of the little boys in her preschool.  The first time she did this there was no name or message, just a close up of a 2 year old boy with uber chubby cheeks.   It was kinda creepy actually.  Her way of saying, "see? little boys are just as cute!  Did you see his cheeks?"  Never boring, my mom.  And then even though I won't find out the gender until early December, I am losing my mind seeing all the cute Christmas clothes at my store.  Today I broke down and bought the baby its first item of clothes.  It's okay though, I'm not jinxing myself (you know, buy boy clothes and wash them, then you end up with a girl, etc.)  The onesie is completely gender neutral.  I checked.  It doesn't say "baby boy" or "baby girl".  Just "baby".  So I won't really describe it because Jeff is getting it for Christmas.  Sssh! Don't tell!  But it is super cute, had polar bears, and says "I love Daddy".  Yay!

don't see that everyday

I just saw a woman at the store with her shoes on the wrong feet.  Her big toes were making weird bumps where they shouldn't be, and since her shoes were rather stiff, you could plainly see them turned out.  This woman was probably in her 40s, and didn't appear to be drunk or have any hindering mental conditions.  What the hell then made her not notice when she put her shoes on the wrong feet?!

quote of the day

this quote comes from a two-year old at work (while her mom was carrying her around the store).

"Mom, you can put me down.  I promise I won't break anything."
This, by the way, was said with a straight face, and it was the funniest/ cutest thing ever.

please allow me earplugs

Dear Owl City,
Please write a new song that doesn't sound exactly like all your others.  I really have a hard time telling them apart, and I used to secretly think they were all the same song until I was forced to listen to that strawberry something one 6 (!!!!) times today at work.
Thank you, Liesl


Dear Gap Kids,

Stop playing freaking Owl City songs!!!! They are annoying but still get stuck in your head, and they all sound the same!!
-Liesl

moan and groan

My car just told me it is 109 degrees!  That is just too freaking hot!!!  So I've decided that it should be winter all year round, cause I'd much rather have to wear two sweatshirts at a time than melt to death.  Although whenever I start whining about the evil heat I have to keep telling myself, "at least you're not currently working at the Matterhorn and wanting to legitimately die!"  I don't think I'd mind the heat so much if we had a kick-ass air-conditioner that was totally free.  Wouldn't that just rock?!  Happy thoughts and popsicles...

wrong season

Um, I really think my store is confused about what season it is because when I came in today there were multiple designs and colors of sweatshirts, sweaters, jackets, and thermal shirts for baby and toddler.  I'm kinda confused by this because I was under the impression that I live in California and not Siberia.  I mean, who wants to even THINK about buying fall clothes in mid June?  Eew.  I say bring on the swimsuits! (which, by the way we are running out of, because they are all on sale in a back corner to make room for important things like jackets).

stupid...annoying...grumble, grumble

You want to know what the number 1 way to frustrate and annoy me is? It is for you to be the person at my work who writes the schedule, and for you to give me a two hour shift, and for that two hour shift to be the only day I work that week. Yup, that'll do it.

But to that I say this. Want to know how I shrug it off? It involves a large happy glass of red wine and the book I'm supposed to be reading for book club but am way behind on. Well, now I guess I have the free time to catch up! (If anyone cares, the book is The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, and it's quite good).

Something that will keep me awake...

Yeah... Gotta love those days where you start work at 6am, but are forced to park like a mile away (I'm not kidding) so you have to get up that much earlier. Grr. So halfway through the day I start trying to eat stuff that will keep me awake (it's basically a game of "how much sugar/ caffeine can I consume?"). My personal favorite for the day is the graham cracker & chocolate frosting sandwich that my dad created (no shock there for anyone who has ever met him). Maybe I'll make some coffee to go with that...

Work

I think the best part of my job is dressing mannequins. There are currently 34 of them in my store that were dressed by me. That's all but 2 of the total. It's great. They hand you huge headless dolls, and you get to dress them in cute clothes and pose them looking all cute. Sound familiar? Yup, it's like you're five years old again and playing dress up or playing with dolls (or both! Woohoo, it's the best of both worlds). Even better than that though is when you are doing this on the work floor while the store is open, because if you are also rudely stripping the dolls to redress them there is always at least one stupid person who freaks out because they think you are handling a real child. It normally takes them a minute or so to realize "hey, those kids don't have heads, fingers or toes, and are made of fabric. I guess they aren't real." It's kinda funny. The best part though, about doing mannequins is that you're mostly excused from the annoying customer service bits, or trying to make people open a new credit card (you know, the parts of the job you're normally SUPPOSED TO DO).