conversations with Jeff

Jeff: I have a parrot on my shoulder.  But it has no feathers and is in fact a little boy.

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me: (in a completely kidding manner) What if I wore my dress with mermaids and starfish on it to go see "The Little Mermaid" show next week?

Jeff: what kind of crazy person has a dress with mermaids on it?

me:  Uh, me?

(side note- it is a very busy pattern that isn't obviously full of mermaids and starfish, I am not a completely crazy person after all)

conversations

Jeff: what's that?

me: (looking at my magazine) it appears to be a Prada ad featuring a sullen looking pale girl who needs to eat more.

Jeff: Why is she sullen?  Is it because she's starving and chained in the basement.

me: she's a model.  Same thing.

Oh so cute and fluffy!

So it looks like we might have rats in our attic.  Jeff made me google ways to get rid of them, but every page I looked at with photos of rats just made me go all googoo eyed and say, "Ah, look how cute they are!  They're so fuzzy!"  I can't help it.  I'm one of the only people I know who has ever had a rat for a pet.  Justin was awesome by the way.  I think that instead of getting rid of our rats the rats could:

A) be best friends with Luna
B) learn to cook with me like in Ratatouille
C) sing with me like in Cinderella

Don't those sound like much better options?  Besides, all other ways seem to involve us having to torture or poison cute little rats, and then dump them in the trash ourselves.  And that just sounds smelly and disgusting.


Oh, random quote of the day (and its context, which helps a lot)
"Oh, so I have to pee in the attic?" -Jeff (on me telling him that to get rid of rats we're supposed to make the attic smell like detergent or ammonia because rats hate clean smells.

Pregnancy Brain

I will be very happy to have the full use of my brain again.  It was pointed out to me that I have indeed been to Washington.  A fact that I don't know how I could have forgotten because it was only two years ago!  I swear I am not normally such a space cadet.  Mostly...  Maybe that's why it took me so long to put Liam's stroller together yesterday.  It came from Fed Ex squished in a box with all small pieces detached.  When I was 5 I had a fully functional toolbox (including a sharp metal saw.  What were my parents thinking?!) and I knew how to use everything in there.  And as of today I have put together at least half of our furniture (Ikea of course) by myself.  So I am so stranger to assembling random things.  However, it took me at least a half hour to put together a stroller.  It did make me feel better that the stroller company included an instruction booklet that was like 20 pages long.  However, they placed the booklet in the center of the stroller so you couldn't see or reach it until you unfolded the whole thing, which was a process in and of itself.  At least our new stroller is large and heavy duty.  If I had had so much trouble with say, and umbrella stroller, now that would have been embarrassing.

And on an unrelated note, the car seat has now been installed in Jeff's car, and Liam will be full term this weekend, so I vote he just pops right out this weekend.  This of course relates to my quote of the day, "Patience is for people who aren't pregnant."  -Liesl

quote of the day

"My face feels as soft as Liam's butt."

I really wasn't thinking when I said that.  But it's true!

text messages

So you know how you'll have a conversation through texting, and sometimes, especially if the conversation had a long pause, you'll get a seeming random text until you remember it's the next bit of conversation?
Well, my mom and I were texting because I wanted her to find my favorite teddy bear for Liam, and I didn't know where it was.  Of course, my mom forgot what it even looked like (I guess I had a lot of bears), so she started texting me pictures of bears, and telling me which stuffed animals she just found.  By the way, I know this is random and disjointed, I hope it makes at least a little sense to read...
This is my favorite text that she send regarding the bear issue.

"I have paddington and curiosity george and a camel."

Awesome, right?  When she sent this, we hadn't mentioned stuffed animals for several hours, plus she apparently doesn't know Curious George's name.  And I don't remember ever having a stuffed camel.  Who has a stuffed camel?  Anyway, I found it funny and thought I'd share.

from the diary of Luna

Yay!  Today was the best day ever!  My owner with the long hair stayed in bed sick all day, so I got to sprawl out on the comforter next to her and get pet.  Woohoo!  Then I sat in the window and looked at birds.  Then I cuddled and got pet some more.  Then I ran in and out of the bedroom as many times as I could in a few minutes, maybe thirty times!  And then I got to cuddle some more!  The bedroom is all warm and comfy.  We should do that more often!

Taboo hightlights

A:  "If the glove fits, you must..."

B:  "Wear it!"

A:  Umm, acquit.


Also, a person who doesn't know about hockey trying to get another person who doesn't know about hockey to guess "hat trick".

actual conversation

Jeff and I were discussing possible clothing sizes of this tiny girl.

Me: What size does that girl wear?!
Jeff: I don't know.  Mattel?

And this is why I love him.

Black Friday

My black friday so far has been very eventful, and it's only 10am.  OMG.  Jeff and I got home from dinner last night and figured "Hey, Walmart is just down the street and they open at midnight.  That's only like two hours from now.  Let's just stay up and go there, then we can come home and sleep."  Frankly I'm still surprised everything went so smoothly...so we watched a movie so we wouldn't fall asleep or loose track of time, then we drove off to Walmart (where the huge parking lot was FULL and we had to park at the second to last spot on the edge of the strip mall lot.  We braved the freezing cold and finally made it inside.  It wasn't as bad as I had always feared, having never done black friday before, but we generally stayed away from electronics, and I think that made a big difference.  Judging from everyone's carts (let's face it, I'm nosy and had to see what people were buying) flat screen TVs and crock pots were by far the most popular items.  What did we get you ask?  A $10 electric griddle and a few $2 DVDs.  Oh yeah, we're big spenders.  The lines weren't even that bad to check out, once we all realized the one long line we had all formed because we were told it led to all cashiers was just BS and there were really like 20 small lines.  But we made it out withing an hour , and had awesome people watching.  After all, it was a Walmart.  I had work at 6am this morning, which wasn't so bad sleep wise, just bad in the fact that I think the baby hates me and wants me to be sick all the time.  So I got to leave work after an hour (woohoo!) which was great because black friday still scares the crap out of me, and my store was a complete nightmare.  We also had an abundance of stupid people.
customer: "Um, so you told me everything in your store is 50% off.  Does that include sale items?"
me: "Um, that includes EVERYTHING." (duh)
Anyway, by the time I left my store at 7am, we looked like we were going out of business, when the store was overly packed with merchandise this morning at opening, and from just midnight to 5am my store made $22,000 (which was our goal for the ENTIRE day.  Crazy, right?)
In short, black friday is still insane and scary, but I don't mind shopping it as long as I stay away from the overly crowded electronics section.  Yikes!

movies with mom

I really hope I don't end up like my mom when I'm older in this one thing: she gets SOOOO confused watching movies.  Last night my parents went with Jeff and me to see the new Harry Potter.  Several times she leaned over to me and said, "Now, which one is Voldemort?"  Yeah, she actually said that.  My response was something along the lines of "Well, he's the creepy looking bald  one without a nose that everyone backs away from when he gets too close, cause he scares the crap of of them all."  She would nod in understanding, then ask the same question thirty minutes later.

Luna thoughts

So picture Luna laying down in the dark in a room by herself.  When she noticed Jeff walking towards her with the obvious intention of picking her up, I think this is what was running through her mind.

"Ah, no!  Daddy's coming...must run away.  After I stretcccccch of course.  No!  He's getting closer!  I know, I'll escape by running under this desk and out the other side.....oh wait, this is a dead end.  Noooooo!"

This of course, is where she lost and Jeff picked her up to cuddle and give her kisses.  I know, I know.  She has SUCH a rough life.  Right?  So of course she had to start crying when she get picked up.  Only to start purring like two seconds later.  Much as I love them, I think cats are totally crazy.

the bump

So I was at thebump.com looking up random pregnancy stuff, because I'm crazy and have free time, and I came across a message board posting that I think gives new meaning to "food cravings".  The post title was (and I am not making this up!) "I would shank someone for an orange".  Yeah... So glad I haven't yet gone THAT crazy.  Although I do eat a lot of oranges lately...

quote of the day

this quote comes from a two-year old at work (while her mom was carrying her around the store).

"Mom, you can put me down.  I promise I won't break anything."
This, by the way, was said with a straight face, and it was the funniest/ cutest thing ever.

on watching Bones

I was having a mini marathon, and the one line that stuck with me was randomly, "What?  He imprinted on us like a baby duck?"

 Besides the TV, I've been working on my insanely huge king sized blanket that I'm crocheting.  The yarn I just added is so fuzzy and well, baby duck-like that now I just want to make blankets for everyone.  Share the fuzzy blanket love!

twitter

So somtimes when I'm bored I'll go to imdb.com and look up random people or movies.  Somehow I came across Russell Brand's page.  IMDB started putting the actor's latest tweets on their pages (if they have twitter, duh), and judging from Russell's latest tweet I am way amused, but also kind of afraid for our future as a people.

"Mum. All is well at the orphanage except the toys come to life at night. I think the cowboy is effing the dinosaur. Send condoms."

(25 June 2010, 3:12 AM, PDT)

Wow...  That's really all I can say.  Wow.

P.S. Is he talking about Toy Story?  Or is he just on crack?  Could be a combination I guess.