murphy's law

1. The minute you decide to paint your nails (for the first time in probably a year) your child will wake up from his deep sleep nap two minutes after you put on the final coat.

2. If you leave the bathroom for a moment with your child in the tub he will immediately pull the shower curtain in the tub with him while he rubs the toilet brush all over himself.

3. You attach childproof locks (that your husband can barely open) all over the house because your child gets into everything.  And your child quickly figures out how to open them.  Then puts out all the tv remotes and hids them and takes out the batteries.

I'm pretty sure Liam is going to grow up to be some kind of evil genius.

something deep fried would be more appropriate

This is the billboard for this years California State Fair.

I get the bear because it's the California bear.  But the (wannabe rapper) carrot?  Really?  I doubt there are any carrots at the fair deep fried or otherwise.  This would be a more accurate representation of the fair if the carrot was replaced with a deep fried twinky. 

Dora trailor
This is kinda awesome.

future wino

Liam loves bottles.  I mean like wine and champagne bottles.  When he sees one within his reach (even in the park when the bottles aren't ours) he wants to run over ti it, grab it, and bring it over to give us.  Umm, thanks?

can I take a shower now?

I've been reading Wild for my book club.  Jeff knows it as "that book about the crazy severely unprepared girl that goes on a several month long hike".  Anyway, a combo of that plus watching the REI commercials where dirty people hike in really dusty deserts makes me want to take a really long shower because the people are all so gross.

That's it.  My little tangent.  I swear I'm not afraid of germs or anything.  But going more than a week at a time without a shower sounds icky.

you only wish your kid was this smart

 Let me preface this by saying that I only left Liam by himself for a few minutes at a time today while doing random chores. 

Today Liam managed to (while only being left alone for 2 minutes or so at a time)
1) take 12 keys off my laptop (they are still off because I can't figure out how to put them back on, it is super awkward to type)
2)climb onto the kitchen counter and open his tupperware container of crackers I just made and eat half of them
3) get into two closets and try his best to empty them, and take the batteries out of every remote control
4) try to climb bookshelves and take my books off the shelves

and he also did a bunch of other things all in a two hour or so period, but I've forgotten some of it because of my much needed second glass of wine tonight.

the only way anyone could make me go for a long walk with a bad cold in the middle of the day in July

Today Liam saw his stroller sitting in our entryway and got really excited.  He grabbed onto it and started jumping up and down and making happy sounds.  Having a bad cold makes me want to sprawl on the couch all day drinking tea, but he was just so cute I couldn't say no to going for a walk.  Even around noon in July.  Ugh.  So I caved.  I said "Ok ok" and went to get us both hats.  Liam got really excited and ran to our shoe cabinet to grab his flip-flops.  He threw them into his stroller, then ran into the living room to grab his favorite stuffed animal, Mickey Mouse.  Then he ran over to his stroller and waited next to it until I was ready.  It was so cute!

conversations with Jeff

Jeff: I have a parrot on my shoulder.  But it has no feathers and is in fact a little boy.

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me: (in a completely kidding manner) What if I wore my dress with mermaids and starfish on it to go see "The Little Mermaid" show next week?

Jeff: what kind of crazy person has a dress with mermaids on it?

me:  Uh, me?

(side note- it is a very busy pattern that isn't obviously full of mermaids and starfish, I am not a completely crazy person after all)

never fails to crack me up

Jeff and I have been sick all weekend.  Luckily I don't have work this week, so today I am having a super lazy day with Liam.  Well, I am having a super lazy day today while Liam jumps all around the house like a crazy monkey.  I decided I should put a movie on, so I picked Iron Man 2 because I figured maybe Liam would like it too.  And of course he did.  When Tony Stark put on the Iron Man suit Liam looked at me, smiled, and started clapping.  I kid you not.  He never fails to crack me up.